Sloth and Ferret Prevail - Move On in Classic

Monday June 30, 2008

The main event this past Saturday featured the PanJack’s own Ferret and Sloth teeing it up against the father/son team of Larry and Mark Peterson in a first round Classic match. The Ferret and Sloth felt a little added pressure to uphold the reputation of the PanJack after an early bow-out by the highly volatile Jackal and Panda. In fact, there still is some question as to how the B&B boys (bitter and bellicose) qualified in the first place. Reports hinted at Tarot cards, magic erasers and loaded dice. An investigation was rumored, but tabled as the dynamic duo exited quietly in the first round two weeks ago.

In this match Mark Peterson played at scratch - giving up 8 shots to the Sloth and 12 shots to the Ferret - with his 67 year old partner chipping in 9 shots on the card. A quick review of handicap histories shows that the Jr. Peterson has logged more rounds this season than the entire PanJack tour combined, but the strain of carrying his old man around the golf course this day proved to be too much.

The poor Peterson boys should have known they were in for a long day right out of the gate. As Jr. went fairway, green, two-putt par on No. 1, the Sloth nearly matched his drive, but under-clubbed and left his approach short of the green. Meanwhile, the Ferret was right off the tee and had to gouge a shot out of an uneven lie in order to get a wedge in his hand. This is where the day’s first omens appeared. BOTH the Ferret and the Sloth proceeded to chip inside 10 feet and drain their putts for par/net birdie to take the first hole.

On No. 2, Jr. again went fairway, green, two- putt par, while the Sloth boomed driver to the center of the lower pad where he proceeded to skull/flare his 60 yard approach low and hard to the right of the green. The ball caromed forward and left off the metal retaining wall to the fringe where he calmly two putted for a halve.

And so it went throughout the day with the Sloth playing Ham to the Ferret’s Egg. The Sloth took #4 with a tidy par and #8 with a 40 ft. twisting bomb of a birdie putt – both holes with no stroke advantage – while the Ferret was coming up with big halves on 5 and 6. The Ferret and Sloth made the turn at 3 up and really put the match away on 11 and 12 – again two holes that did not offer strokes. On 11 the Ferret did his best David Toms with a steady drive, a layup to his number and the shot of the day with a sand wedge from 80 yards to 7 feet below the hole. The birdie putt was in off the club and the route was on. On 12 the Sloth was pin high, but some 35 feet away as his opponents had trouble finding the green. A lag putt to 6 inches led to a 4 up advantage with 6 to go. The Ferret almost ended it 5 and 4 on the 14th green, but he rammed his 6 footer though the break. On 15, a routine par by the Ferret halved the hole and ended the match 4 and 3. The final tally had the Ferret and the Sloth at a net 3 under. Not spectacular, but easily good enough on this day. So it is on to round 2 in late July.

The Jackal was spotted on the property, muttering to himself in the clubhouse after an indifferent round, leaving him to contemplate his 6th swing plane change in the last 2 months. “What do you think of my ball flight? I’m ok with a little fade, like Lietzke. When I release more aggressively, I get a draw, but I can’t control it. You don’t have to draw. A lot of great ball strikers hit a high fade. It will still cut through the wind if you hit it solid. Do you think I’m too flat on the back swing? I think I’m going back to the 10 finger grip. I used it when I had that finger injury and it really helped my release.” The Panda was nowhere to be seen, but we look forward to his next foreign language communiqué.