SLOTH to undergo surgery.. Out for 3 Weeks!

Monday June 2nd 2008



By F. Joel Goldstrand

The Two Toed Sloth will not be competing in the PanJack Tour the next three weeks as he will be undergoing surgery to repair damage to the tendons in his left wrist and right ankle. A spokesman for the Tour's rising new star said that his new swing has been determined to be the cause of the damage. "He worked this winter with his new swing coach, Harvey Pivot, and the changes they made to his swing have caused a lot of stress to his left wrist and right ankle." Unlike the new wave 'stack and tilt' being used by many of the young tour players, Harvey is a proponent of the classic fall back move. This is causing the Sloth to experience great trauma on his left wrist as it requires the player to move a lot of earth prior to making contact with ball. The theory is you get less spin and the ball will release weakly to the hole allowing you a thirty foot rather than a five foot putt. The theory being you avoid short putt yips this way." said his spokesperson.

In addition to the wrist the right ankle takes more stress as your weight has to shift backward rather than forward. "The guy's body has just been worn down from this new method and doctors felt it would be wise to conduct the surgery now rather than wait for the fall as the Sloth has already committed to playing the Iron Man in October." Following surgery the Sloth plans on returning to his old reliable swing mechanics as it puts less stress on his body. "This should solve his problem and he will be ready to go again at the end of June." said the spokesman.