Sunday August 10th 2008
By F. Joel Goldstrand - Golf Digest
The 2008 Fox Hollow Golf Season came to a rousing finish this day as the Club Championship concluded. The Panda, playing in the last group and one shot off the lead, just could not get anything going early in his round. The Great Bear, carrying the banner of the PanJack Tour, was still in the hunt coming into number 7. It was here that his quest for the Championship came to die. Last year, leading the 3rd flight, the Panda saw his hopes dashed on the same par four 7th hole at the Fox. The culprit this year was not a fatted iron into the marsh but the oak tree in the middle of the fairway. This is the tree that designer Joel Goldstrand decided was a nice little obstacle to put in the middle of a fairway on what is, without it, a tough par 4 hole. Goldstrand obviously did not study the design concepts of Alister McKenzie or Pete Dye. He thinks it's a great idea to put trees in the middle of fing fairways. Well you readers probably by now have figured out that the Panda had a bad experience with said tree. You would be correct. After splitting the fairway the furry one was faced with trying to carve his approach around the famous Oak. He didn't. Ultimately shooting a 10 on the hole and killing his chances to make a run at the title.
After an indifferent backside that took over 3 hours to play due to major slow play delays the Great Panda finished up on 18 to the uproarious applause by the booze saturated gallery, tipped his hat, shrugged, and headed for the bar. He should hold his head high folks, because he played like a champion this weekend and cemented his reputation as a player who can bring serious game when the need arises.
Also bringing serious game to the Fox this weekend was the Sloth. The Soth shot the low weekend score among his brothers and finished in 2nd place in his flight. Battling a skittish tee ball again on Sunday didn't faze the tour rookie. He went out and found a way to get his ball in the hole and shoot an 89 that left him with a fat wallet, and smile on his face. What makes the Sloth's play even more remarkable, is that he gave no evidence what so ever that he could put two days of solid play together based upon his last months play. He did and hats off to the Sloth for a great championship.
The Jackal and Ferret did not bring serious game to the weekend, rather, they displayed "Serious Lame!!" Instead of golf shirts and shorts, these two bozo wannabees should have been wearing red noses and oversized shoes!! If there was a triple bogey to be shot, they shot it. If you could turn a bogey into a double, they did it. And when you thought they could not possibly show any more ineptness they they threw in some quads. Based on their play this weekend, if these two yo yo's even think of purchasing a new club or examine some new ball technology, they should be shot!! As Panda is fond of saying: "Indian, not Arrow!!!" I could recount the idiotic play of these two but I am writing a sports column, not the script of a horror movie!!!
One more observation from this writer about the Club Championship: Once again this two day extravaganza produced rounds in the 5 hour range. A PGA tour event and most major championship get done in less time for gods sakes.!!!! The interminably long pace of play has the PanJack Tour thinking up solutions for next year that could include breaking away from the Fox and starting their own tour. Many fans would applaud this move. More to come in the months ahead regarding this percolating story.
3 comments:
Retarded golf is contagious....Sloth what did you give us??
FYI-Putting like a drunk gorilla is not how Crenshaw won the masters.
The tour commitee is meeting soon about NEW tour locations next year. Majority of the people on the board feel that alternating venues would bring out more new fans.
Who gave what to whom???? The Sloth's game was much less schizophrenic before I joined the tour.
To the tour commitee: The next 5 hour round of golf I play better be 27 holes not 18!!
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