Thursday, August 21, 2008
F. Joel Goldstrand - Golf Digest
The Ferret has lodged a protest with the Tour's Championship Committee over the amount of strokes he has been allotted for this Saturday's Nine Tournament at Edinburgh USA.
The committee saw fit, due to the hole by hole format, to limit players to 80% of their course handicaps, thereby bringing the Ferret from a 17 to a 13.
We caught up with the Darting One while he was practicing during an afternoon nap on his sofa. "First they take me away from the aircraft carrier confines of the Fox with it's treeless landscape and grass-less rough and put me on a course that provides more trouble than a toddler with a loaded gun. They then reduce my strategically developed handicap strokes to a respectable number that I really play to. This is an outrage!! Playing for cash and no chit money also has me out of my comfort zone. I guess I am just going to have to go out there and play like I have all summer when I haven't posted my scores and make these guys pay for setting me up like this!"
"See you Saturday, you Bastards!!!"
2 comments:
Oh how the tables have turned. It is true, what goes around comes around. All the Panda had to do was wait for the time where the rules of the handicrap system played in his favor. Thank you GHIN for making my week.
A special thanks to the tour format chairman, I will bring you a pound of my best bamboo.
The Ferrent Camp is quite pleased that the Great One is so excited about this weekends tournament. It is quite evident the Furry Beast is showing his teeth, but it would be appreciated if he flossed first.
The Darting One's spokesman, Flash N. Dash, had this to say: "If it takes the publishing of the GHIN handicap for this tournament to make the Fuzzy Fellow's week, we're happy for him, but at the same time...sad. We feel he needs to find other things to do and/or hobbies to fulfill an obvious void. It also makes us wonder why he feels the need to bestow upon the tour chaiman a pound of bamboo. Maybe he has not been following the plight of the Chinese gymnastics team. None-the-less, it will be a fun and exciting Saturday on the links".
See you Saturday, you Bastards!!
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