PANJACK TOUR ON VERGE OF CANCELATION

Tuesday, January 27th 2009

PanJack Tour on Verge of Cancelation

By Fore Leftright

In Washington today President Obama announced his stimulus package which did not include funding for the PanJack tour. Tour officials have been lobbying hard for a bail out for the tour since it is a large contributor to the economy.
"Our biggest contributors have shut off the tap which is going to make this year very difficult to put together any kind of tour events". PanJack Tour Spokes person Sandy Bunker.
While congress and the new president are trying to settle down this economy the PanJack tour is going to have to find a different way to make 2009 possible.
"We have tried to get new sponsors this year but it doesn't seem like anyone has a budget for it, or they have never heard of the tour." Sandy Bunker
Even players have felt the down turn with this new economy.
"I have lost all of my sponsors this year and it really hurts. I kind of played well last year but why do they have to pick on the old guy? That f-ing Panda still has sponsors and he totally blew the championship. What happened to respecting your elders?"-The Jackal
Another player that has lost his sponsorship is the Ferret. According to his agent they over looked a part of his contract, the too many crooked drives part. The contract states that the Ferret was allowed only so many drives in the rough/crowds in the 2008 season. His agent has filed a lawsuit because it seems he is over by 3. All 342 will be included in the lawsuit for review. We caught up to the Ferret to ask him about the economy and the lawsuit.
"I should have read the contract a little more carefully. I was a little too focused/excited about the new equipment versus the verbiage in the contract. Lesson learned I guess. I didn't think anyone was keeping track of how many times I hit someone in the crowd. I am confident that I will have new clubs, I mean, a new sponsor before the season starts."
Included in the new stimulus package from the new President are provisions for condoms and 200 million dollars to fix up the mall in Washington DC but nothing for our beloved PanJack tour. A couple players that have not been affected by the down economy the Sloth and Panda. We caught up with the two of them at GOP head quarters.
"We are not leaving here for at least 2 years until the congress flips over. There is nothing out there but doom and gloom. If the economy is going to shut down the great Jackal then all is lost. Everyone should just plan on going back to the dark ages. I have hired a couple workers to plant a garden full of Chinese food, bigmac's and bourbon. I guess technology has really advanced in farming these last couple years and you can grow these items right in your back yard. I hope that Obama puts some pork on for the PanJack so we can play."-The Panda
"I really haven’t' noticed anything. I have my scotch and cigars, so I don't see what the fuss is all about."-The Sloth
It seems our players and tour are feeling the pains of the down economy, some more than others. But never the less, we will keep you posted on if the tour will happen this 2009 season.